The Cage by Brian Keene Read Free Book Online

off. The tips of his ears were red, he was so mad. And then the guy told him that he knew who Clint was, and to get the fuck out of the store. Well, that didn’t sit well with Clint.”
    “What happened?” Scott asked.
    “Clint took a swing at him. Knocked the guy backward into a fifty-two inch Panasonic projection screen. I dragged Clint out of there but not before their manager called the cops. Luckily, they didn’t press charges.”
    Jeff and Scott laughed. Jared smiled. “Crazy bastards,” Scott said.
    Pausing, Roy smiled. “Clint used to do things like that all the time. I can’t tell you how many strip clubs and bars I’ve pulled him out of before he could get in a fight. And now…”
    His smile faded. His bottom lip trembled.
    “And now he’s out there and I’m in here and there’s nothing I can do to help him…I can’t pull him out.”
    “Hey,” Jeff said. “Don’t think about it that way, Roy. Like you said, he’s been in bad situations before. If anyone can talk their way out of a jam, it’s Clint. Besides, if the crazy dude had killed Carlos or Clint, we’d have heard the gunshots. We haven’t. It’s been quiet. Chances are good that they’re still alive. He said he needed the six of us.”
    “Then what’s he doing with them?” Jared asked. “He’s been out there too long for this to be a robbery.”
    “I don’t know,” Jeff replied. “Maybe he did have a partner. Maybe they pulled a box truck up to the front door or something, and he’s making them help him load up stuff—all the floor models and display units.”
    “But if they were doing that, then we’d hear them.”
    “Not necessarily,” Scott said. “We can’t hear shit when that ventilation system is running. Maybe most of the noise happened while it was on.”
    “They’re not dead,” Roy insisted. “Jeff is right. They can’t be dead.”
    “But how do you know for sure?” Jared asked.
    “Because they just can’t. Now let’s just focus and try to stay positive, okay?”
    Scott snickered. The others glanced at him.
    “What’s so funny?” Roy asked.
    “Sorry. I was just…it’s weird, the shit your mind turns to in a situation like this.”
    “What were you thinking about?” Jeff asked.
    “Fuck Around Quotient Zero. You guys remember that?”
    They nodded, and Jeff laughed. On slow weekdays—days when the store averaged less than a dozen customers from open to close—the salesmen did things to occupy their time. One of their favorites had been an ongoing discussion of the greatest action movie ever made. They would be the ones to make it, just as soon as one of them hit the lottery or became independently wealthy. The movie would star actors both living and dead—Bruce Willis, John Wayne, Jason Statham, Steve McQueen, Clint Eastwood, Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Christopher Walken, Keith David, Harvey Keitel, Lee Van Cleef, Mickey Rourke, Samuel L. Jackson, Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Fred Williamson, Rowdy Roddy Piper, Jack Nicholson, Lee Marvin, Kurt Russell, Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Steve Buscemi, Michael Madsen, Tom Sizemore, Jackie Chan, Rutger Hauer, Thomas Jane, Christian Bale, Christopher Lambert, Charles Bronson, Ice-T, The Rock, Lee Majors, Ken Foree, William Shatner, Sean Connery, and Chuck Norris. The plot, such as it was, involved putting all of the actors together on the set and letting them shoot guns at each other for two and a half hours. There would be lots of explosions. And the title—the title was perfect.
    Fuck Around Quotient Zero.
    “We could use some of that right about now,” Jeff said.
    “Yeah,” Scott agreed. “That’s what I was thinking, too. I god-damned guarantee you that Jason Statham would have been out of this cage by now.”
    “Well,” Roy said softly, “you’re not Jason Statham and I’m damn sure not Clint Eastwood.”
    “You’re old enough to be,” Scott teased.
    “Fuck you.”
    “I still think