The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane Read Free Book Online

uncertain, which could turn out to be dangerous.
    It’s worth learning how to handle uncertainty, not just because it increases charisma but also because the ability to be comfortable withuncertainty and ambiguity turns out to be one of the strongest predictors of success in business. This is what Adam Berman, the executive director of UC Berkeley’s Business School Center for Innovation, concluded after tracking his MBA students in their career progression.
    Very few business schools specifically teach students how to handle uncertainty. On the other hand, psychologists have been helping people increase their skills in this arena for decades, creating and refining tools for just this purpose. When Berman asked me to create a program to help business executives better navigate and embrace uncertainty, he suggested we examine the tools psychologists had devised and see which ones might be applicable within a business context. I’ve since tailored this toolkit for many companies in a wide variety of industries, and its effectiveness holds.
    The single most effective technique I’ve found to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty is the responsibility transfer. 2 In uncertain situations, what we really want to know is that things are somehow going to work out fine. If we could be certain that things will work out—that everything will be taken care of—the uncertainty would produce much less anxiety. Take a moment to try the exercise in the box below. If you’d rather have my voice guide you from start to finish, go to the Charisma Myth Web site: http://www.CharismaMyth.com/transfer .
    Putting It into Practice:
Responsibility Transfer
    Sit comfortably or lie down, relax, and close your eyes.
Take two or three deep breaths. As you inhale, imagine drawing clean air toward the top of your head. As you exhale, let that air whoosh through you, washing away all worries and concerns.
Pick an entity—God, Fate, the Universe, whatever may best suit your beliefs—that you could imagine as benevolent.
Imagine lifting the weight of
everything
you’re concerned about—this meeting, this interaction, this day—off your shoulders and placing it on the shoulders of whichever entity you’ve chosen. They’re in charge now.
Visually lift everything off your shoulders and feel the difference as you are now no longer responsible for the outcome of any of these things. Everything is taken care of. You can sit back, relax, and enjoy whatever good you can find along the way.
    The next time you feel yourself considering alternative outcomes to a situation, pay close attention. If your brain is going around in circles, obsessing about possible outcomes, try a responsibility transfer to alleviate some of the anxiety. Consider that there might be an all-powerful entity—the Universe, God, Fate—and entrust it with all the worries on your mind.
    So how did that work for you? Did you feel a physical reaction? After doing the responsibility transfer, many clients report feeling lighter, or their chests opening up and expanding. If you didn’t feel any physical reaction or mental relief, it may simply mean that uncertainty was not creating anxiety for you. If you did feel something happen, fantastic: you’ve just performed a responsibility transfer.
    Over time, many of my clients have found themselves returning to this technique so often, it becomes instinctive. With each practice, it becomes easier to visualize, to transfer their everyday worries and cares, and to enjoy the physiological effects of the transfer.
    The reason this technique works is that when presented with a scenario, our brain’s first reaction is to consider it as possible.
    William Bosl, research scientist at the Harvard-MIT Health Sciences and Technology Program, explains the implications of a recent functional MRI study on belief, disbelief, and uncertainty as follows: 3
    “Our brains are wired first to understand, then to believe, and last to disbelieve. Since