The Color of Joy by Julianne MacLean Read Free Book Online Page A

home to Montana and gone back to school.
    She still considered that boy from Maine to be the great love of her life. Unfortunately things didn’t work out for them.
    “I always wanted babies,” she complained to me, “but look at my life now.” She glanced around her apartment. “It might really depress me to see you pregnant in your perfect life.”
    I strode closer. “Just so you know, my life isn’t all roses and sunshine. Jake’s not exactly happy about this, and I’m really worried about him going away for so long. But that’s not the point. What matters is that a change like this could really turn things around for you, open up new opportunities you never imagined.”
    There it was—my unstoppable optimism. My belief in something better just around the bend. If only she could see life that way, too, but sadly she was crippled by regret. She limped along through life because she couldn’t let go of the past.
    Sylvie backed away to lean against the counter and regarded me with a look of cool derision. “I’ll think about it, Jenn, but don’t clear out the guest room just yet. I can’t make any promises.”
    “Great,” I said with forced enthusiasm, finding it difficult to meet her resentful stare. I glanced around for my purse. “Take some time to think about it. I should probably go.”
    She said nothing as I walked out, and I wondered how Jake was going to feel about all this.
    Not good, I suspected.

Chapter Fourteen

    I was in bed with the lights out when Jake returned home after midnight. Hearing the key in the door, I tossed the covers aside and padded in my bare feet to the kitchen where I found him standing in front of the open refrigerator.
    “There’s some leftover spaghetti from yesterday,” I said, striding forward to help him find it at the back of the fridge. “There it is.” I moved the milk and juice around to get my hands on it. “Here you go.”
    As I held it out to him, I realized he was staring at me intently. Deep stress lines creased his forehead.
    Jake and I had always been immensely close; we never fought. Our marriage was solid as a rock, but suddenly I was frightened for the future. A shiver moved through me.
    He closed the refrigerator door. Without a word, he took the plastic container out of my hands, set it on the counter and faced me.
    “I’m sorry,” he softly said. “I’ve been a jerk.”
    Feeling completely dumbfounded, I shook my head. “No, you haven’t.”
    “Yes, I have. When you told me you were pregnant, I reacted like…” He stopped and took a moment to compose his thoughts. “I was an ass. What’s weird about it is that I always wanted to have kids and be a dad. That’s the life I imagined, with a woman just like you . Then everything went wrong with Chelsea. The whole idea became…I don’t know. Tainted .”
    I still didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t sure where he was going with this.
    He took my hand, raised it to his lips and kissed it tenderly. “I love you more than anything in the world, Jenn, and I’m happy about this. Really, I mean it. I want to have this baby with you. I want us to be a family.”
    A cry of relief broke from my lips and I pulled his hands to my mouth to kiss them, over and over. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me against his strong body. All the doubts and fears of the past few days flew away as I breathed in the familiar scent of him. My husband, whom I loved with all my heart and soul.
    “I’m so sorry,” he said again, burying his face in my neck and laying kisses there. “I promise I’ll be a good dad. I just wish I didn’t have to leave you. I don’t want to miss this, and I don’t want you to be alone.”
    Drawing back slightly, I looked up at his face in the glare of the kitchen lights and laid my open palm on his cheek. “You won’t miss it,” I said. “I’ll post pictures online every day. I was thinking about it, and we can do video chats. We’ll be in contact with each