The DNA of Relationships by Gary Smalley, Greg Smalley, Michael Smalley, Robert S. Paul Read Free Book Online Page A
spouses, children, and friends to fulfill them.
As I mentioned, sometimes when you look at yourself through the camera lens, what you see isn’t pretty. Or other times it’s too rosy. How do you make sure that in seeing yourself and others through the camera lens, you are getting an accurate picture?
Well, that’s another relationship truth: Get God’s lens if you want a healthy view of your relationships.
* GET GOD’S LENS FOR A HEALTHY VIEW OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. *
In other words, you have to get your lens from God. His lens is the most accurate, never portraying you better than you should appear but always showing the true beauty inside you. And God sees you as you really are.
In the bestseller The Purpose-Driven Life , Rick Warren describes how God sees you:
You are not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature…Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God. He thought of you first…He custom-made your body just the way he wanted it. He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality…Most amazing, God decided how you would be born. Regardless of the circumstances of your birth or who your parents are, God had a plan in creating you. It doesn’t matter whether your parents were good, bad, or indifferent. God knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic makeup to create the custom “you” he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you…God never does anything accidentally, and he never makes mistakes. He has a reason for everything he creates…God was thinking of you even before he made the world…This is how much God loves and values you! 6
Do you believe that description? Do you believe that God loves you and values you? Do you know that you are precious to him? 7 Do you believe that he accepts you and forgives you? Are you convinced that you are of great worth to him? 8 If you want to strengthen your relationship to God, see appendix A: How to Have a Relationship with God.
It’s no accident that AA and other addiction programs talk about a higher power. It is not surprising that faith-based programs across the country work in changing the lives and relationships of people in prisons. These are based on the reality that God loves us and provides us with the empowerment to live life to the fullest. They are based on this same relationship truth of getting people to look at life, themselves, and all their relationships through the honest and loving lens of God.
When you have a healthy relationship with God, you are in the best position to see yourself as he sees you, which will result in a healthier relationship with yourself. When your relationship with God is out of balance, you can’t see yourself properly and you lack the power to change or enjoy life as he intended. And it’s more complicated when the other person also has an unhealthy relationship with God. Then neither of you is seeing yourself clearly. What happens then is that you begin to react to each other for the wrong reasons—sometimes with an inflated sense of who you are, and other times with a deflated sense of who you are. If neither of you can see yourself accurately, how do you expect the relationship to work?
All three DNA relationships are interrelated. When one is out of balance, the other two suffer. When you do something to strengthen one, the other two become stronger too.
* ALL THREE RELATIONSHIPS MUST BE IN BALANCE. *
Let me give you the third reason why we came up with this DNA concept. We recognized that the God-yourself-others relationships are also part of the Great Commandment: “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” 9 This New Testament teaching underscores what we see in the
As I mentioned, sometimes when you look at yourself through the camera lens, what you see isn’t pretty. Or other times it’s too rosy. How do you make sure that in seeing yourself and others through the camera lens, you are getting an accurate picture?
Well, that’s another relationship truth: Get God’s lens if you want a healthy view of your relationships.
* GET GOD’S LENS FOR A HEALTHY VIEW OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. *
In other words, you have to get your lens from God. His lens is the most accurate, never portraying you better than you should appear but always showing the true beauty inside you. And God sees you as you really are.
In the bestseller The Purpose-Driven Life , Rick Warren describes how God sees you:
You are not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature…Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God. He thought of you first…He custom-made your body just the way he wanted it. He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality…Most amazing, God decided how you would be born. Regardless of the circumstances of your birth or who your parents are, God had a plan in creating you. It doesn’t matter whether your parents were good, bad, or indifferent. God knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic makeup to create the custom “you” he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you…God never does anything accidentally, and he never makes mistakes. He has a reason for everything he creates…God was thinking of you even before he made the world…This is how much God loves and values you! 6
Do you believe that description? Do you believe that God loves you and values you? Do you know that you are precious to him? 7 Do you believe that he accepts you and forgives you? Are you convinced that you are of great worth to him? 8 If you want to strengthen your relationship to God, see appendix A: How to Have a Relationship with God.
It’s no accident that AA and other addiction programs talk about a higher power. It is not surprising that faith-based programs across the country work in changing the lives and relationships of people in prisons. These are based on the reality that God loves us and provides us with the empowerment to live life to the fullest. They are based on this same relationship truth of getting people to look at life, themselves, and all their relationships through the honest and loving lens of God.
When you have a healthy relationship with God, you are in the best position to see yourself as he sees you, which will result in a healthier relationship with yourself. When your relationship with God is out of balance, you can’t see yourself properly and you lack the power to change or enjoy life as he intended. And it’s more complicated when the other person also has an unhealthy relationship with God. Then neither of you is seeing yourself clearly. What happens then is that you begin to react to each other for the wrong reasons—sometimes with an inflated sense of who you are, and other times with a deflated sense of who you are. If neither of you can see yourself accurately, how do you expect the relationship to work?
All three DNA relationships are interrelated. When one is out of balance, the other two suffer. When you do something to strengthen one, the other two become stronger too.
* ALL THREE RELATIONSHIPS MUST BE IN BALANCE. *
Let me give you the third reason why we came up with this DNA concept. We recognized that the God-yourself-others relationships are also part of the Great Commandment: “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” 9 This New Testament teaching underscores what we see in the
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