phone. ”
“ It’s…I left it in the little house. ” Oksana shifted, covering her phone with her leg.
“It’s right there,” Kat said before she could stop herself. She was just crapping all over the sister code tonight. Oksana was going to find some reason to ground her very soon.
“Seriously?”
“Sorry.”
Oksana pulled out her phone and handed it over. She’d never regretted teaching her grandmother how to use anything more in her life. As if he felt her pain, Vasily left his spot by the TV and wiggled his giant body between her feet and the couch.
Momentarily comforted by the only mammal in the room who hadn’t turned on her, Oksana watched, absolutely sick to her stomach as Baba went through her text messages. Baba didn’t say a word or make a face, but Oksana knew exactly what see was seeing. Finally, Baba handed the phone back. She picked up a pair of Kat’s jeans
“ You help no one by lying. ” She’d said those words before.
Choked up but tearless, Oksana helped her grandmother take care of the rest of the laundry, ignoring Kat’s apologetic looks from across the room.
Once they were finished, she kissed them both good night and headed back to the little house.
Her cottage behind Baba’s enormous Craftsman had been rented out to random relatives of the local Russian community until Oksana turned eighteen and claimed it as her own baby sister-free zone. Baba didn’t rent it out while she was living at Vivian’s.
Kat followed.
“Sana, wait!” Kat called after her. Oksana stopped and waited.
“What’s up?”
“I’m sorry. Really. Are you mad at me?”
“No, but…” Fuck, this is what she hated. If she and Kat were closer in age and if Oksana wasn’t damn near her mom she could say something like “keep my secrets and I’ll keep yours,” but she couldn’t do that.
She pulled Kat into a tight hug. “No, but let that be a lesson to you. Our grandmother can read.”
“I promise I won’t rat you out again.”
“Good. Go to bed.”
Oksana waited until Kat was back inside before she turned and unlocked the door to her place.
The little house was quiet and empty. Oksana changed for bed, checked her e-mail, and before she finally made up her mind to go to sleep, Oksana sent Annie one last text. One last long text.
Hey, are you there? She typed. Annie responded not even ten seconds later.
Yeah. Just lying in bed. My hands are above the covers. I swear.
I don’t think we should do this. It’s been more than one night.
Twenty painful minutes went by before Annie replied. Oksana knew she had done the right thing. She didn’t like lying to her family and she didn’t like lying to herself even more.
You’re right. I’ll talk to you later.
Good night.
After that, Annie didn’t text back.
Part of Oksana regretted not handling this in person, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to say exactly what needed to be said. Now the guilt didn’t matter. Their fun was over.
Chapter Three
The Need for Clarity
There were no tears, but Annie’s throat and her eyes burned so badly she was surprised she wasn’t crying all over herself.
She read the text again and again, reread Oksana’s “fuck off” and her own stupid response, and all she wanted to do was cry. The entire situation was backward. A single text message should not hurt this bad. Oksana shouldn’t mean so much, but as Annie stared at the very final message from her and her own acceptance of what Oksana was really saying, she realized that Oksana meant something to her. She considered why crying seemed like the only sensible reaction and she wanted to cry even more. Her body gave out and two fat tears rolled down her cheeks. Two more immediately followed. She wiped her face and blew out a deep breath.
Why was this happening? She was supposed to be the happiest girl this side of the valley. She had a great job, friends, and an amazing fiancé she was about to make hers forever. And the