The Knife and the Butterfly by Ashley Hope Pérez Read Free Book Online

smokiness and the heat of Mami’s arm where I had my cheek pressed against it. She smelled like dryer lint and soap, and then I remembered that we were going to have a sister. That was why her stomach was so fat.
    Sometimes Papi came, too. Me and Eddie didn’t know it yet, but Mami and Papi were both praying for a miracle.

CHAPTER 12: NOW
    I’ve got me a kind of routine. Breakfast, talk with Tiger, rec outside, lunch, observation, dinner, flip through my black book, sleep. Sometimes the order is a little different, like today Pakmin comes for me right after breakfast. But it don’t matter. Because as much as I would like to drop-kick Lexi into the next county, I gotta agree with Tiger that something to watch is better than nothing. My expectations are low—a good day is getting to see something besides her just lying on her bed. Sometimes she stays there all day.
    But a different window in the observation room is lit up this time. It’s about halfway between the one for Lexi’s cell and the one for the meeting room. When I walk over, I see Lexi sitting in a circle with maybe twelve other girls. A couple of them are dog-ugly, but most of them are easy enough on the eyes. I think about whipping out my gun when I see this one girl who looks like she could be Becca’s older sister, but then I think of Pakmin watching from the set of windows behind me. That kills the mood.
    It’s the usual group therapy setup, same as what I got put through at the Youth Village. Blackboard screwed to the wall, chairs all in a circle, some hippie fool running the show. This guy’s somewhere in his thirties. He has combed brown hair and a face so bland that you forget it every time you stop looking at him. He’s spouting the usual counselor crap. Right now he’s talking about how everyone has an equal voice in the group. Like just saying that makes it true.
    He looks all mellow until Lexi cuts in with, “Then how come you get to make the rules? Or does that mean we can bust up this circle and sit like we want?”
    “We’re glad to have you with us today, Alexis,” is all he says.
    Some of the girls roll their eyes, but most of them just sit there.
    He pulls a stuffed dolphin out of his briefcase and reminds the girls that they can discuss anything except events related to their cases. But if life lands you in lockup, doesn’t that mean everything is related? And besides, how am I supposed to figure out what they think I should know about Lexi if she never even says why she’s in here?
    But the leader didn’t really mean “anything,” because two seconds later he writes the word “disappointment” up on the chalkboard and asks the girls to go around and say what the word makes them think of. “How about starting, Maritza?” he says and passes the stuffed dolphin to the black girl to his left.
    Her hair is bleached a coppery color and done up in cornrows. She squeezes the dolphin in her fist like she wants to see its cotton guts dripping out.
    “Yeah, sure. It really kills me when there’s no OJ at breakfast,” Maritza says and tosses it real fast at the next girl without even turning to look at her.
    “Bitch,” the next girl says catching the dolphin just before it hits her in the face.
    “Janela,” the leader says in a warning voice that makes me think of kindergarten.
    “Pass,” Janela says, staring at him.
    The girl next to her has her hair cut short, and her tits are smashed flat as a board. She stares daggers at the leader. “Your ugly face disappoints me.”
    When the dolphin gets to this Vietnamese chick, she pops her gum and shrugs. “How I suppose know what word means?”
    A tall, skinny Hispanic girl with her hair combed halfway in front of her face takes the dolphin and slams it down onto the floor. “I hate it when my boyfriend cums and I don’t!” She busts out laughing, and a couple of other girls join in.
    The leader kind of scrambles to the middle of the circle to pick up the dolphin. “That’s