The Kryptonite Kid: A Novel by Joseph Torchia Read Free Book Online

on the Holy Cards smile when they look up toward Heaven and a light shines on them. So me and Robert liked her a HOLE LOT. We really really did. We liked her more than any other groan ups we ever met, even the ones we have to like. Like my Ant Hellen who I don’t  really like anyway.
    And that’s why we hope you’re REALLLLLLLLLLY careful if anybody gives you a gold coin OK? Because now you have to make SURE to save Mrs. Bacchio from that truck that I told you about. I was gonna tell Mrs. Bacchio about that dream, but then I figured I better not because  she might get worried like me and Robert was worried  about Mr. Durrelli. But then he came in at the last minute   Thank God with the comicbooks. So we buyed SUPER MAN’S PAL JIMMY OLSEN and you know what she did?  She gave us GIANT SUPERBOY NO. 17 free.
    FREE!
    So we said THANK YOU MRS. BACCHIO and she said YOU’RE WELCOME BOYS and we ran all the way home and dumped the garbage. And then I sneaked upstairs and started writing you this letter. And pretty soon we’re gonna eat supper. And then I’m going up to Robert’s house  and we’re gonna do our homework after we read the comicbooks. After I write you another letter.
    So goodby for now.
      
Your friends,
JERRY and ROBERT
      
    PS: Does Mrs. Bacchio ever write you letters?
      

      
    DEAR SUPERMAN,
      
    If you want to know why this letter smells like liver that’s because I didn’t wash my hands after supper because I was in a hurry to read the story called THE PUNISHMENT OF SUPERBOY and so I hope you like liver. Especially since you got Super-smell. Boy Superman, I sure liked the way you talked back to Pa Kent when he wouldn’t let you chop the wood with Super-speed. I thought that was REAL dumb. If I was Super then I wouldn’t want to do anything regular either. So I was glad when you told Pa Kent, BUT I WON’T CHOP THAT WOOD LIKE AN ORDINARY BOY. IT’S A WASTE OF MY TIME!
    And Pa Kent said, STILL DISOBEDIENT, EH? INTO THE WOODSHED, YOUNG MAN! YOU MUST BE PUNISHED!
    And so he grabbed your ear and he took you in and he put you over his knee and he hit you just like my dad always hits me. Which is real hard. Except he forgot you’re invulnerable. And so he said,
    THIS WILL HURT ME MORE THAN . . . OWWWW! and he broke his hand. And that’s why I can’t wait till I become indestructable, Superman. This way when my dad hits me like that then he’ll also break his hand too. And I’ll laugh and say, I’M INDESTRUCTABLE, DAD! HA-HA!
    And so he’ll say, THEN YOU HAVE TO GO TO BED EARLY WITHOUT WATCHING I LOVE LUCY WHICH IS MY FAVORITEST PROGRAM EXCEPT FOR SUPERMAN. And I’ll say,
    THAT’S OK DAD, BECAUSE I CAN SEE THE TELEVISION WITH MY X-RAY VISION ANYWAY. AND I CAN HEAR IT WITH MY SUPER-HEARING. SO GOODNIGHT, DAD. HA-HA!
    And so my dad will say, YOU AIN’T GETTING NO  MORE ALLOWENCE, YOUNG MAN! I’LL TEACH YOU!
    And so I’ll go down in the celler and I’ll get a piece of coal and I’ll press it into a diamond with the Superstrength of my Super hand. And then I’ll fly it down to Nelson Jewlers and sell it for 20 DOLLERS! Which is a LOT more than my real allowence. And I’ll show him just like you showed Pa Kent! He couldn’t punish you because you was SUPERBOY and he was just a ordinary human person. And so he finally said,
    I CAN’T HANDLE CLARK AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT, MARTHA. YOU SPOILED HIM! And so Ma Kent said,
    DON’T SHIFT THE BLAME ON ME, JONATHAN KENT! HE’S YOUR SON, TOO!
    And so Pa Kent picked up his suitcase and left. And Ma Kent picked up her suitcase and left. And so you felt real bad and said,
    NOW I’M . . . I’M ALL ALONE . . . CHOKE!
    And then you looked at their pictures and you cryed a lot and you said, OH, IF ONLY THEY WOULD COME BACK, I WOULD NEVER BE A BAD BOY AGAIN . . . SOB!
    And that’s when they came back.
    And that’s how they punished you, by making you feel bad and cry. The only trouble is that I would never feel