The Language Inside by Holly Thompson Read Free Book Online Page A

touching
                   like he did in the room
    sompeas
he says
    it’s like a sign of respect—
    when you greet a Cambodian
    you do that and say
    chum reap sour
    I do
sompeas
    mumble the words
    try to commit them to memory
    for next week

     
    outside it has started to rain
    and feels cold enough to snow
    even though it’s only October
    I wrap my scarf around my neck
    and we hurry across the bridge against the wind
    and into the heat of the pizza place
    where we order slices
    and I choose spinach
    which at home I eat as
ohitashi—
    a side dish with ground sesame and soy sauce
    but which I’ve never before eaten
    on pizza

     
    at the table we sit across from each other
    with our slices and sodas
    and I realize I’ve never done this
    sit with a guy I hardly know
    at a restaurant
    without other friends around
    and I’m suddenly nervous
    to fill the silence I name pizza combos in Japan
                   corn and tuna
                   potato mayo
                   teriyaki chicken
    I tell him I like this spinach kind
    that I can’t get in Japan
    but I feel idiotic sitting there with Sam
    babbling on,
talking blather
    as Mr. Hays used to say in English class

     
    I take a breath to slow myself
    then we talk about poems and Zena
    and Sam says there was another poet
    who worked with her for a couple years
    a guy who graduated last year and is now
    at college and that’s why they wanted me
    to work with Zena
    but I’m not a poet
I say
    I just write stuff in my journal
    or for school
    whatever
Sam says
    if you work with Zena
    you’ll be writing tons of poems—
    that guy who worked with her and
    who I bet is her “sexy man”
    started writing and ended up winning a contest
    and got a scholarship to a university
    where they have a special creative writing program

     
    I ask Sam what he did with Leap Sok today
    and he says mostly Lok Ta Leap
    was correcting his mistakes in Khmer
    he says his mother has always made him study Khmer
    but it’s not as good as his English
    our high school doesn’t offer Khmer, you know
    that’s why my mother and stepfather
    wanted me to stay in Lowell
    where the high school has it
    at all different levels
    I’m confused—I say
    your mother?
    I thought you lived with your uncle
    I do, but I have a mother . . . 
    and a stepfather?
I ask
    and a stepfather
he says
    plus a father—
    loads of adults
    want one?
    no thanks
I say
    I’m good for adults
    and we laugh

     
    I ask why he lives with Chris
    and not his mother
    or father
    he says
    it’s complicated
    and I think, okay
    note to self:
                   don’t ask about family
    I finish the part with the cheese and spinach
    and I’m chewing my way through thick crust
    when he says
    my mom’s Khmer
    she was supposed to marry a Khmer
    but she worked and went to community college
    then started classes at the university
    where she met my father, Chris’s brother
    then got pregnant

     
    I nod, set down my crust
    wait for him to continue
    after they got married
    things were okay for a while
    my dad finished school
    got a job in New Hampshire
    and they moved
    but she hated it there
    so they fought
    and he started drinking
    and she moved back to Lowell
    and I went back and forth
    between New Hampshire and Massachusetts
    then after the divorce she married a Cambodian dude
    and had two more kids
    whoa
I say
    when he pauses to
    start in on his second slice
    so how old are they?
    Van, my little brother, is seven
    my sister Lena’s ten
    there’s more
he says

     
    Sam continues
    my dad was kind of a mess
    so I came back to Lowell
    moved in with my mom and stepfather
    but their apartment’s ultra-small
    and I had to sleep in the living room
    because Lena and Van had the other bedroom
    so I stayed out a lot
    messed up in school, drank a lot
    made my stepfather mad
    and my mother didn’t know what to