The Love Sucks Club by Beth Burnett Read Free Book Online

good a
partner as I could have been because I didn’t help with the housework very
much. To make amends, I’ll come clean your house on the day of your choosing.
Have a great day.
      It was signed with her name
and the J was swirled and curled with a flourish as if the very act of writing
the letter had given her a sense of joy and accomplishment. I crumple it up and
throw it at the wall. Seconds later, I’m retrieving it and flattening it out.
If nothing else, I’m going to have to show this to Sam. The
housework? The housework, really? Thinking back
on all of the hell I went through with that woman, the idea of her apologizing
to me for not helping with the housework strikes me as both impossibly
maddening and ridiculously funny. And how can she be going through the twelve
steps when Sam saw her trashed at the resort’s beach side bar just a couple of
days ago? Suddenly, I’m struck by a fit of giggles that leaves me struggling
for air and nearly choking. Housework. I’m overcome,
laughing until tears are streaming down my face. I go back to my favorite chair
and ease into a comfortable spot in front of my computer. If nothing else, the
years with Voldemort has given me tons of fodder for short stories about
horrible girlfriends. Now, apparently, I can branch into comedy. I’m still
laughing as I settle in to write.

 
    Chapter Four
     
    I have the grill lit and the coals heating by seven o’clock. Sam
shows up right on time and after stowing her beer in my fridge, comes out onto
the deck to greet me.
    “Hey-o!”
    “Dude.” I give her a hard, one-arm hug.
Sliding onto a stool at the outside bar, she props her feet up and leans back.
    “So. How much do you love me?”
    Wary, I shake my head. “A lot. Why? What
did you do?”
    “It’s just I saw your sister at the Stop and Save and...”
    “You invited her for dinner. Because I just
don’t see her enough.”
    Sam is saved from answering by the familiar whine of my sister’s
transmission making the last stretch of hill to my house. Within minutes,
Susannah is trampling through my house with Olivia in tow. Sam looks stricken.
    “I swear , Olivia was not with her when I
saw her.”
    That’s obvious. If Olivia had been with Susannah, Sam would have
sprinted in the other direction. The two women come through the house. Susannah
hands Sam a beer and keeps one for herself . Olivia
throws herself onto one of my lounge chairs. With one arm draped dramatically
over her eyes, she lets out a deep sigh.
    Susannah gives me a kiss on the cheek and perches on a bar stool.
“Where are the peacocks? Olivia wanted to see them.”
    “Well, I don’t invite them to dinner most days. Then again, I
didn’t invite you and Olivia, yet here you are.”
    “I’m your blood. And I’m a terrible cook. It’s your obligation to
feed me.”
    Sam studiously ignores the sighing coming from the lounge chair.
    “So Susannah.”
    I chime in .“ Or should she say ‘Oh Susannah...”
    “Oh, don’t you cry for me,” Sam sings off-key.
    “I’ve never heard that one before in my life.” Susannah gives us
both a dirty look and pops open her beer.
    “How come you’re not out with what’s his name tonight?”
    Sam perks up. “Who’s what’s his name ?”
    Looking up from the grill, I wink at Sam. “He’s Susannah’s new
beau. He’s dreamy.”
    “Oh, McDreamy ,” Sam grins. She flutters
her eyelashes and holds her hands up to her cheek. “Is he a doctor?”
    “The important question should be is he married,” I add.
    Susannah flips me off. “He is not married, his name is Thomas, and
he’s very sweet.”
    Sam nods. “Is he a felon?”
    “Rex was not a felon.” Susannah is irritated. “He had a bit of a
run in with the law. It wasn’t his fault.”
    “It never is,” I say.
    Olivia lets out another dramatic sigh from the lounge chair and
Susannah turns to her sympathetically. “Poor Olivia has had a terrible day.”
    Sam takes a swig of beer so I am forced to