The Man Who Sold His Son (Lanarkshire Strays) by Mark Wilson Read Free Book Online

life who had loved her unconditionally, who did put her first and make her feel safe, but now Thomas was here.
    She stopped taking an interest in herself or her family. She lost weight and cried and cried. She was badly depressed and Alex booked appointment after appointment with counsellors, support groups and other mums, which she’d promise to go to but never did. Finally, in her resentment of the father-son club she felt excluded from, she turned to vaping simply so she wouldn’t have to care about what she had lost. In the dark pit of depression, it never occurred to her how much she had gained.  
    A year later, in the depths of loneliness and fatigue and resentment, Alex had gone to an office Christmas party and had a drunken fling with a colleague. Sarah found out about it and felt betrayed all over again. This time she was justified in her feelings. Alex didn’t try to make excuses. He didn’t try to blame her isolation or her moods or her vaping. He just admitted what he’d done and asked her to forgive him. Months later, she said she had but the distance between them had grown further and the people who’d loved each other so very much were now banking resentments by the hour and flitting between glaring at or else avoiding each other
    Each time Sarah ignored or neglected Tommy, Alex felt propelled further from the girl he’d loved his whole life. Each time Alex told her he loved her, Sarah would scowl; he’d broken that trust between them and, for her, the infallible unity they’d shared was forever shattered. Alex loved her so very much, even now, and blamed himself completely for her mental state. He sheltered Tommy from the worst of her illness and pounced upon days when her mood brightened and he could see her old self peeking through the dark skies.
    For her part, she did her best to tolerate him and Tommy, although she trusted and wanted neither of them, but was unable to find the will or the strength to leave. She’d become an extension of a home and a husband and a son that she felt no part of. She wanted to escape her family every bit as badly as her ten-year-old self had wanted to. But she stayed. What else could she do? Who else could she be? She was worthless; she’d made sure of that over ten long years. How she wished Thomas hadn’t come home to find her choking.
     
    Sarah turned to her husband once more, wiping the last of her tears away. Alex watched her eyes go dull again and she slipped back into the fog her mind was.
    “I’m glad he’s ok. No one should have to watch their mother die. Even a mother as shitty as me.”
    She drifted off; asleep or just gone, Alex didn’t know.
    He closed his paperback, leant over her and kissed her softly, ignoring the saltiness of his own tears on her lips.
    “I love you, Sarah.”

7
     
    Gayle Robertson leaned forward in her chair, placing both elbows onto her desk. Removing her thickly-framed glasses with one hand and the bauble from her ash-blonde hair with the other, she shook her hair loose, enjoying the freedom. She pinched the corners of her eyes with thumb and forefinger to relieve some of the stress she’d been feeling. It’d been a hell of a week in the lab and today was no exception. The experiments she’d been running with the latest generation of Synthi-sperm had confirmed her fears for the on-going viability of the company’s stock.
    Replacing her glasses, Gayle scanned the data one final time. Part of her hoped that in the few seconds since her eyes had last been on the screen, the results she’d collated and conclusions she had reached had magically corrected themselves into something less painful to pass on to her boss.
    Gayle sighed, rose from her chair and removed her Howie lab coat. Might as well get it over with.
    Pressing her palm to the door scanner, she waited for the door to swoosh open, entered the airlock and tapped her foot whilst the decontamination filters did their work. After a few moments a second door,