The Minnesota Candidate by Nicholas Antinozzi Read Free Book Online Page A

I’m kind of funny like
that.”
    Doris frowned and gave Tom a hard look. “I’ve
heard of people like you,” she said. “I guess they’ve come a long
way in treating your condition.”
    “Stop it, Ma,” said Tom, knowing this train had
already jumped the tracks.
    “I didn’t know they started calling respect a
condition,” said Shari. “I guess I need to start watching more
television.”
    Tom was just about to scream when he saw a
familiar face at the back of one of the trucks. “Hey Ma,” he said,
motioning toward the truck with a pair of white shopping bags.
“Doesn’t that guy look like Shifty Sam?”
    Doris and Shari both stopped to look and the
figure began waving at them. “Why, that is Sam,” said Doris. “I
didn’t know he worked for Slumberland.”
    “I didn’t know it, either,” replied Tom,
watching his mother’s cousin as he jogged over to them. Despite his
past, or perhaps because of it, Shifty Sam was still in the prime
of his life. Exceedingly fit, he had once confessed to spending six
hours a day at the gym. He wore a tight white t-shirt shirt over a
pair of blue jeans, and with his slicked-back pompadour, sculpted
sideburns and pencil-thin moustache, he looked like a time traveler
from the 1950’s.
    Doris smacked her lips. “You know, Sam and I
aren’t actually blood relatives,” she said.
    Tom wasn’t about to comment on that. He was
confused. The Slumberland driver and helper were already carrying a
box spring into the garage. He and Shari exchanged a wary look as
Shifty Sam began to slow up. “Hey Fat Tommy,” he said, taking a
toothpick out of his mouth and pointing it at Tom. “How are you’?”
Nice day we’re having, huh?”
    Tom shrugged. “I’m good, Sam.” he said. “What
are you doing out here?”
    “I’m getting to that part,” said Shifty Sam.
“Excuse me, Shari, Doris, it’s certainly a nice day we’re having,
isn’t it? Here, let me help you with those. They look heavy.”
    “Sam,” said Tom, “you didn’t answer my
question.”
    Sam hung his head. “My car broke down on the
freeway. I’m flat broke, Tommy, what was I supposed to do? I’m
sorry, you want me to leave?”
    “We’ll get your car towed to a shop and have it
repaired,” said Shari, nodding her head. “In the meantime, we’re
about to have dinner. Are you hungry?”
    Sam rubbed his stomach and smiled. “That would
be very nice of you,” he said, “but I wouldn’t want to put you
out.”
    “You wouldn’t be putting us out,” said Shari.
“Tom, call Triple A and have them tow Sam’s car to a repair shop. I
was just about to order some Chinese? Does that work for
everyone?”
    “Chinese?” asked Doris, making a sour face. “I
was hoping that you would have cooked something.”
    Shari wanted to laugh. She had been cooking all
day, but not the way Doris had in mind.
    “Thank you,” said Sam. “You guys are great. I
just knew you and Fat Tommy would come through for me.”
    Shari stopped and turned to face him. “You can
call Tom whatever you like when you’re alone,” she said, stiffly.
“But I find it disrespectful to hear him called that, especially
when you’re a guest at his home. I would appreciate it if you
remembered that.”
    Shifty Sam smiled and nodded his head. “Whatever
you say, Mrs. P.”
    “Oh no,” said Doris. “There’s only one Mrs. P in
this family, and that’s me. Sam, you’ll just have to call her
something else.”
    “I prefer Shari,” said Shari. “There will be no
nicknames used here.”
    After carrying Doris’s purchases into the house
and stowing them inside her room, Tom and Sam walked back out to
the garage. Tom made small talk as the hired help emptied their
trucks. He told Sam about the house fire, but found out that Sam
had already heard about it. “That must be a terrible thing,” he
said. “Your mom is a strong woman.”
    “You can say that again,” agreed Tom.
    “She was always my favorite cousin.”
    Tom pulled