The Naked Viscount by Sally Mackenzie Read Free Book Online

until his sixth child, and your father, though prompt in getting you, only had one child—though no one thought he tried to get any more.”
    â€œAunt Winifred!” Motton rubbed his forehead. He did not want to discuss—he did not want to think about—his deceased parents’ conjugal relations or lack thereof.
    Aunt Winifred sniffed. “Well, the point is, we have no time to lose.”
    He had a sudden horrifying image of his aunt—all his aunts—supervising his wedding night. “I am quite capable of managing the issue— every aspect of the issue—myself.” He looked her in the eye and spoke slowly and distinctly. “I do not need your help.”
    â€œOf course you need my help. Better mine than Gertrude’s. She’s already picked out Miss Elderberry for you.”
    â€œAldenberry, Aunt. The girl’s name is Aldenberry.”
    â€œWell, it should be Elderberry. She’s only twenty-six, but she looks like she’s forty-six. Scraggy, with no bosom to speak of.”
    â€œAunt, please. You are putting me to the blush.” He swallowed another gulp of brandy. Georgiana—George, as she was called by everyone— was painfully thin and angular. And dour. He’d never seen her smile, let alone laugh, in all the years he’d known her. How could Gertrude think she’d be an acceptable bride for him?
    Simple. Miss Aldenberry had six brothers.
    â€œPshaw. I’m sure it takes more than a little plain speaking to make you blush.” She tapped the edge of his desk. “You can be certain I set Gertrude straight. Men like breasts, I told her, the bigger the better.”
    He dropped his head into his hands. “Aunt.”
    â€œDandy diddies, that’s what ye need, matey. Big bubbies. Two—”
    â€œTheo!” He and Aunt Winifred shouted simultaneously.
    Theo hung his head. “Just having a bit o’ fun, matey.”
    â€œDon’t you have a Holland cloth or something we can drop over that bird’s head to make him go to sleep, Aunt?”
    â€œNo. Don’t be ridiculous.” She glared at Theo. “I’ll lock you up in the brig, sir, if you don’t behave. Confine you to my room, you mark my words.”
    Theo ducked his head between his wings and turned away so all they saw was his hunched, feathered back. He looked suitably cowed.
    Aunt Winifred nodded and then turned back to Motton. She tapped his desk again. “Now, about your marriage—”
    â€œAunt Winifred.” He would try to look at her as sternly as she had looked at Theo. “I have already told you, I don’t need your help. I don’t want it; in fact, I’m offended—”
    Aunt Winifred was not as easily cowed as Theo. She raised her hand to stop him. She now had more than seventy years in her dish, but age had hardly slowed—and had not dimmed—her will.
    â€œOf course you don’t need my help with the actual getting of an heir. What you need is someone to give you a good swift kick in the breeches to get you moving toward the altar. That’s the aid I’m here to furnish.”

Chapter 3
    Thank God! The door closed securely behind Aunt Winifred and Theo. Motton blew out a long breath and poured his third glass of brandy. This one he could savor in blessed solitude.
    His aunt had spent the last twenty minutes cataloguing every bloody girl on the Marriage Mart. He’d thought she would never leave.
    He held a mouthful of brandy on his tongue and let the fumes fill his mouth. Why had she come to Town this Season? She’d left his marital state alone up to this point, contenting herself with an occasional pointed comment. Why suddenly appear on his doorstep now with a list of potential wives?
    He swallowed the brandy. The answer was obvious. She was here because the other aunts had descended upon him. She’d been off with her friend Lady Wordham at Baron Dawson’s