The New Dare to Discipline by James Dobson Read Free Book Online

up and do what’s right, Jack? What am I going to do with you, son? Mercy me, it seems like I’m always having to get on you. I just can’t see why you don’t do what you’re told. If one time, just one time, you would act your age.” On and on goes the barrage of words.
    Jack endures the endless tirades, month in, month out, year after year. Fortunately for him, he is equipped with a mechanism that allows him to hear what he wants to hear and screen out everything else. Just as a person living by railroad tracks eventually does not even hear the trains rumbling by, so Jack has learned to ignore meaningless noise in his environment. Jack (and all his contemporaries) would be much more willing to cooperate if it were clearly to his personal advantage.
    4. Don’t saturate the child with materialism. Despite the hardships of the Great Depression, at least one question was then easier to answer than it is today: how can I say no to my child’s materialistic desires? It was very simple for parents to tell their children that they couldn’t afford to buy them everything they wanted; Dad could barely keep bread on the table. But in more opulent times, the parental task becomes less believable. It takes considerably more courage to say, “No, I won’t buy you Wanda Wee-Wee and Baby-Blow-Her-Nose,” than it did to say, “I’m sorry but you know we can’t afford to buy those dolls.”
    A child’s demand for expensive toys is carefully generated through millions of dollars spent on TV advertising by the manufacturers. The commercials are skillfully made so that the toys look like full-sized copies of their real counterparts; jet airplanes, robot monsters, and automatic rifles. The little consumer sits openmouthed in utter fascination. Five minutes later he begins a campaign that will eventually cost his dad $84.95 plus batteries and tax.
    The trouble is, Dad often can afford to buy the new item, if not with cash, at least with his magic credit card. And when three other children on the block get the coveted toys, Mom and Dad begin to feel the pressure, and even the guilt. They feel selfish because they have indulged themselves for similar luxuries. Suppose the parents are courageous enough to re sist the child’s urging; he is not blocked—grandparents are notoriously easy to “con.” Even if the youngster is unsuccessful in getting his parents or grandparents to buy what he wants, there is an annual, foolproof resource: Santa Claus! When junior asks Santa to bring him something, his parents are in an inescapable trap. What can they say, “Santa can’t afford it”? Is the jolly fat man in the red suit really going to forget and disappoint him? No, the toy will be on Santa’s sleigh.
    Some would ask, “And why not? Why shouldn’t we let our children enjoy the fruits of our good times?” Certainly I would not deny boys and girls a reasonable quantity of the things they crave. But many American children are inundated with excesses that work toward their detriment. It has been said that prosperity offers a greater test of character than does adversity, and I’m inclined to agree.
    There are few conditions that inhibit a sense of appreciation more than for a child to feel he is entitled to whatever he wants, whenever he wants it. It is enlightening to watch as a boy or girl tears open stacks of presents at a birthday party or perhaps at Christmas time. One after another, the expensive contents are tossed aside with little more than a glance. The child’s mother is made uneasy by his lack of enthusiasm and appreciation, so she says, “Oh Marvin! Look what it is. It’s a little tape recorder! What do you say to Grandmother? Give Grandmother a big hug. Did you hear me, Marvin? Go give Grams a big hug and kiss.”
    Marvin may or may not choose to make the proper noises to Grandmother. His lack of exuberance results from the fact that prizes which are won cheaply are of little value, regardless of the cost to the