that Bjøoïrniger sofas were sure to be the downfall of the next generation of Americans, but I didnât want to push it.
âI know they donât really care about all these things,â she said, motioning to her end tables and armoires. âBut my children aside,â she said, sighing, âsometimes the thought of selling everything, watching my collection, Adamâs collection, being torn apart and sold off bit by bit . . . well, it might just send me to an early grave.â
Was seventy-six an early grave? It wasnât my place to ask. And I didnât want this elegant woman to actually die. Itâs just that I wasnât allowed to walk away with nothing.
âWe have a very good offer for you,â said Nicole, cutting the small talk. âWeâll of course need to take a look at everything, but I know that the number we are willing to put on the table will exceed your expectations.â
âI need a guarantee,â said Elizabeth, her voice suddenly turning firmer.
âOf course,â we both said in unison.
âAnd Iâd like you to set up a trip for my children to attend the auction. They quite like the St. Regis.â
âWill you want to attend?â I asked, writing notes and knowing that Louise would put her entire extended family and their pets up at the hotel if we could sign Elizabeth.
Just as I was about to stand up and start gently flipping over furniture to find signatures, she shook her head and declared, âAll this talk is rattling me. I feel like Iâm at a car dealership with Slick Rick and I donât like it.â
What? How was this like a car dealership? We were trying to get her to sell, not buy, and who in this scenario was Slick Rick? I caught Nicoleâs eye and she mouthed, âYou.â
âMaybe Iâll just donate everything to my alma mater, the University of Maryland,â Elizabeth said, starting to smile as she reached for her soda water.
The University of Maryland! Why? So that frat boys could puke on cushions that once held the posteriors of the American settlers? While I was thinking about our next move, Nicole was playing the friendship angle, telling Elizabeth all about her recent trip to Maryland. She was also peppering her stories with ten good reasons why Elizabeth should sell her estate.
âThe Baltimore Museum of Art has expressed a lot of interest,â said Nicole. âThink about how much of your furniture would return to Maryland if you sold it through us. We have a very high percentage of buyers from museums in the mid-Atlantic.â
Elizabeth smiled and declared, âGood people come from Baltimore.â
What did she mean good people came from Baltimore? Had she never seen The Wire? And Edgar Allan Poe was from Baltimore. The original Goth!
âEverything Iâm considering selling is in these eleven rooms,â she said, making a dramatic motion with her arm. âNow, I said âconsidering,â so donât start mentally writing up your catalogue yet. And no fast talk and shouting out numbers. I like to live a civilized life.â
Well, it was a good thing I hadnât done my usual routine of appraising things in a loincloth.
There were one hundred twenty-seven pieces in the eleven rooms and we started in the very last drawing room, taking pictures of each piece from every angle, including inside the drawers and underneath the legs. We looked at the inlays, the mother-of-pearl detail on some, the tongue-and-groove joinery, ran our hands across the claw-and-ball feet of the Chippendale works, inspected the scallop shell mounts on the Queen Anne pieces, made sure the cabriole legs had no splits in them, same for the pierced back splats on the side chairs. We looked for visible saw marks on eighteenth-century pieces and then almost lost it when we found a companion piece to a side table already owned by one of New Yorkâs most prominent collectors of