The Star Diaries by Stanislaw Lem Read Free Book Online

incorrect—instead one should follow the nomenclature of the Aquarian School, employing the more consistent term of Bug-eyed Bogus (Artefactum Abhorrens). After a brief exchange of remarks, the Thubanian resumed his speech:
    “The honorable representative of Rhohchia, urging upon us the candidacy of this so-called Man the Wise or—to be more precise—this Bug-eyed Meemy, a typical example of a Corpselover, failed to mention—in his recommendation—the word ‘albumin,’ apparently thinking it indecent. And indeed, the word does evoke associations, which propriety forbids me to elaborate on here. To be sure, the possession of EVEN THAT kind of living matter carries with it no disgrace. (Cries of “Hear, hear!”) It is not in the albumin that the problem lies! Nor in the bestowing upon oneself, when one happens to be a corpseloving howler, the title of sapient human. This is but a weakness, quite understandable if not forgivable, dictated by one’s amour-propre. No, the problem lies not here, Esteemed Council!”
    My attention began to wander, blur, go blank—I was catching only snatches.
    “And even carnivorism is no one’s fault, if it results in the course of natural evolution! Yet the differences separating so-called man from his animal relatives are practically nonexistent! Just as an individual who is higher may not claim that this gives him the right to devour those who are lower, so one endowed with a somewhat higher intelligence may neither devour nor murder those of lower mentality, and if he absolutely must do this (shouts of “He musn’t! Let him eat spinach!”)—if, I say, he must, by reason of some tragic hereditary affliction, he should at least consume the bloodied victims with dismay, in secret, in his lair and the darkest recesses of the cave, torn by feelings of remorse, anguish, and the hope that he will be able, someday, to free himself from that burden of unremitting murder. But such, alas, is not the behavior of our Stinking Meemy! It desecrates the mortal remains, chopping, stewing, skewering, it toys with them, only afterwards to ingest them in public feeding places, in the presence of cavorting naked females of its species, which serves to whet its appetite for the dead; the necessity of changing this stage of affairs, that cries out to the entire Galaxy for revenge, never even enters its colloidal head! On the contrary, it has provided itself with higher justifications, which, residing somewhere between the stomach, that crypt of innumerable victims, and eternity, entitle it to continue murdering with a clear conscience. So much then, not to take up the time of this Esteemed Assembly, for the activities and habits of ‘man the wise.’ Among its ancestors there was one that seemed to promise much, I speak of the species homo neanderthalensis. He deserves our attention. Similar in appearance to modern man, he possessed a brain case of greater capacity, hence a larger brain, or intellect. A gatherer of mushrooms, inclined to meditation, a true lover of the arts, gentle, phlegmatic, there is no doubt but that he would have made a strong candidate for membership in our Esteemed Organization. Unfortunately he no longer is among the living. Would perhaps the delegate from Earth, whom we have the honor here to entertain, care to tell us what became of the ever-so-civilized and likable Neanderthal? I see he does not, so I must speak for him. The Neanderthal was exterminated root and branch, wiped off the face of the Earth by our selfsame homo sapiens. And as if the foul deed of fratricide was not enough, Earth’s scholars then began to blacken the name of the annihilated victim, ascribing to themselves—and not to it, their cerebral superior—the higher intelligence. Today we have among us, here in this venerable hall, within these lofty walls, a representative of the corpse-eaters, one who is resourceful in the pursuit of lethal pleasures, a cunning architect of wholesale slaughter, and