Town is all about fashion and gossip. I dare say this will be my last season here.”
Mary grinned at her, happy. “I dare say it will be, too.”
Olivia shook her head. “Even if nothing comes of Mr. Jenkins. I am about ready for spinster-hood.”
Mary glared at her. “I will be ever so grateful when I no longer have to hear you call yourself a spinster. I am quite tired of it.”
They left the lady’s room and found themselves in quite a crush. They wound their way through to the gentlemen and Olivia could hear whispers and laughter. It was mostly gossip about fashion, but then she heard “...gray bombazine...” and realized it was she they were laughing about.
She smiled at such foolishness. She really did not understand what the fuss was about. She had dressed appropriately for the opera, if not fashionably.
“...Jenkins doing with her?”
“...do much better...”
“...joke? Not like him...”
And she stopped smiling. Would his reputation suffer because of his supposed interest in her? At least no one could believe that Nathaniel was really courting her. Why would they? He was a solid gentleman with a solid fortune, he could have any woman he wished. He wouldn’t choose to court a set-in-her-ways old maid. Oh, if they only knew the real reason he was here with her.
It was good he was such an honorable man. He would never tell anyone of their arrangement, that much she was sure of. When their arrangement came to an end, no one would think anything but that he had come to his senses and stopped pursuing such an unsuitable match.
She had benefited extraordinarily from his attention. She had experienced walking the green, flirtatious dancing, attending the opera, and been the object of a man’s studied attention. It was getting hard for her to pretend it wasn’t for real, and it seemed it was getting hard for others to ignore his attention as well. She hadn’t meant to make anyone believe they had an attachment, least of all herself. She had simply wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted. Now she knew.
She also knew it was time to end the public courtship. She did not want his reputation to suffer from their association. She liked him far too well to cause him any harm.
At last, the opera ended and they escaped. Nathaniel kept her close, ostensibly to guide her through the masses of people. “That was an experience I won’t be quick to forget.”
“Nor I. Thank you for suffering through it for me.”
“Of course, Olivia. I did enjoy parts of it, though I hope we won’t have to again for quite some time.”
She shook her head. “Once was more than enough for me. But thank you, Nathaniel. This has been a wonderful courtship.”
“Do you consider yourself wooed and won, then?”
She laughed, squeezing his arm.
“I do, indeed.” She paused, looking away. “But I wonder when the next part will come.”
“I admit I’ve been hesitating.”
“Why?”
“I’ve been hoping you would change your mind.”
She scowled at him. “I won’t.”
“And also because once a couple unites, it changes their relationship. Sweet kisses and passionate embraces are no longer enough, the act itself becomes all important. It is very hard to go back to what one was before... Are you sure you want to continue, Olivia?”
As they stepped outside, the cool air made her shiver. She took a deep breath.
“Yes. That was what we agreed to, Nathaniel. I want to know. I want to know why the act becomes so important. I want to know why passion grips men’s souls and makes women go all aflutter.” She looked up at him and whispered. “Please show me.”
He stared in silence at the line of carriages, then chuckled. “Will you be watching the stars tonight?”
Olivia glanced at the foggy sky, then smiled at him. “I expect not for long.”
Nathaniel smiled, too. “No, not for long.”
Six
I f Mr. Nathaniel Jenkins didn’t get here soon, Olivia was going to beat him with her telescope. They