childhood and was never emotionally stable. He said he would hurt me so it was best if he just ended it.”
“But he hurt you anyway.”
“Yeah…”
“I don’t know… I think that’s pretty fucked up. He made you fall in love with him and then he just left. If he didn’t see the relationship working from the very beginning, why did he waste your time?”
“Because he thought it would work.”
“Sounds like a dick to me.”
“He’s not.” I knew I shouldn’t defend him. “He never tried to hurt me, not the way I tried hurting him when I said all those mean things. I knew he had issues so I shouldn’t have gotten involved with him. I’m over him, and I’ve moved on. I don’t want to hold a grudge and keep him at a distance. In the end, I do care about him. I don’t want us to hate each other.”
“You don’t have to hate each other, but you don’t have to hang out either.”
“We don’t hang out one-on-one. Our best friends are going to be married to each other. That makes it difficult.”
“Man, that is complicated.”
“See what I mean?” I asked. “It’s less heartache for me to just let it go.”
“It doesn’t hurt to be around him?”
I shrugged. “I don’t think about it. We had what we had, and it was beautiful…but it ended. I’ll never regret what we had. But I’m not going to live in the past anymore.”
He stared into my eyes without blinking. “If he wanted you back, would you go back to him?”
“No, that would never happen.”
“Just answer the question.”
“No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t go down that road again…not when I already know how it ends.”
“So, I guess exes can be friends. Who knew?”
“It’s not that uncommon. I know other people who do it. We’d had two years to get over it so it’s different.”
“So, you’re okay with this?” He ran his fingers through my hair. “Because you seem pretty sad.”
“I guess it makes me sad sometimes…”
“Why?”
How could I explain this in a way he would understand? My relationship with Hawke operated on a different wavelength. Axel and Marie were madly in love but even they wouldn’t understand it. “Because I pictured a much different ending for both of us. Actually, we didn’t have an ending. Even when we passed away and our bodies decayed, our souls traveled across the earth, tangled together.”
Kyle had a blank look on his face like he didn’t understand a word I said. “What does that mean, exactly?”
“We’re soul mates.”
His eyes narrowed in confusion. “You really believe that guy is your soul mate?” Skepticism was written all over his face, and he couldn’t keep the condescension out of his voice.
Hawke and I couldn’t work it out because he was too broken. His family had ripped him apart, severing his heart into pieces. Even the love I gave him couldn’t fix all the wounds and holes. His mind was shattered, and he continued to believe he was a monster when he was nothing but a saint. But that didn’t change the truth. That didn’t change what we had—even if we could never be together. “Yes.”
***
We went to several different florists in town and tried to decide which was cheaper. Marie was on a budget because she picked an expensive venue. Axel would let her do anything she wanted, but he had to put his foot down sometime.
“These hydrangeas look nice,” she said.
“They could be a cute centerpiece arrangement.”
“I don’t know…they scream Easter.”
“Just don’t put any Easter eggs in the vases and you should be good.”
She rolled her eyes and walked out of the shop. “That place was way too expensive.”
“We could just make our own,” I said. “You know, pick some flowers and put them in a pretty vase.”
“Sounds like a lot of work…”
“Well, which do you want to save? Time or money?”
She released a sigh. “Weddings are stressful.”
“You didn’t know that already?” I asked like a smartass.
“I thought