Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy by Bathroom Readers’ Institute Read Free Book Online Page A

and it had fallen in. He’d climbed down into the pit, he said, simply to get his shirt back. Police had trouble believing that—especially since the man had been arrested in the same park in 2005 for doing the same thing. Moody eventually admitted to having a pit-toilet fetish. He was arrested. (Bonus: Moody is from the town of Pittston, Maine.)
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The Union Carbide factory in Bhopal, India, where thousands died in a gas leak in 1984 has been reopened as a tourist attraction .
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    Episode: “’That’s Cold!”
    Setup: One day in July 2008, Martin Bierbauer of the Austrian city of Eisenstadt was sitting on the toilet in his apartment. Everything was fine until…
    Terror! …Bierbauer was blasted off the toilet by huge hailstones that came shooting out of it. “I heard the pipes rumbling a bit,” he said later, “and suddenly hailstones the size of golf balls started exploding out of the toilet like it was a popcorn machine.” The ice balls eventually covered the bathroom floor, then the entire apartment. The same thing, it turned out, was happening all over the building. The region had been recently struck by unusually high temperatures followed by a sudden cold snap, which resulted in violent hailstorms. City officials said the hailstones had clogged local drain systems, a heavy rain had followed, and pressure in the sewer system had built up. The hailstones had to go somewhere, so they started flying up out of toilets. Bierbauer and other residents demanded that the city pay for the extensive damage the toilet-stones had caused to their apartments.

FOR THE LOVE OF ANIMALS
    In 2009 the Florida state senate was debating enforcement of bestiality laws, and the subject turned to animal husbandry—which simply means the breeding and raising of livestock. Senator Larcenia Bullard, however, thought it meant something else, and blurted out, “People are actually taking these animals as husbands?”

JUNGLE SPA

    Animals—they’re not just for petting. They can help you relax and make you pretty, too!
    S NAKES . For about $80, a California king snake will massage your shoulders at Ada Barak’s health spa in Talmey El’ Azar, Israel. At the same time, a corn snake will crawl all over your lower back, providing a deep-tissue massage. Then turn over, and small garter snakes will massage your face muscles. According to Madame Barak, “People either like having snakes slither around all over them, or they hate it.”
    CARP . $45 will buy you 15 minutes of “doctor-fish therapy” in a Tokyo spa. Here’s how it works: You dangle your feet in a tank full of tiny carp called chinchin yu , or “doctor fish.” They eat the dead skin flakes and calluses, leaving your feet soft and beautiful. But don’t worry; these fish have no teeth and only dine on dead cells. The most common complaint about the therapy is that it tickles.
    “VENOM.” The poison of the Malaysian temple viper paralyzes its victims by blocking the nerve signals that cause muscles to contract. A new anti-wrinkle cream called BioVen is a “gently synthesized” version of the venom. Marketed as an alternative to Botox injections, BioVen does basically the same thing: It prevents your face muscles from contracting when you laugh, smile, or frown. “No wonder Hollywood celebrities are waiting in line for it!” says the commercial.
    LEECHES . Hirudo medicinalis , the “medicinal leech,” is black and slimy, measures four inches long, and has three jaws, each of them containing more than 100 tiny teeth. When attached to your skin, the leeches are said to suck out toxins, leaving you feeling fresh and revitalized. Leech therapy, which costs up to $600 and dates back to Ancient Egypt, was given a big boost in the U.S. after actress Demi Moore appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman in 2008 and bragged about having leech treatment in Austria. “It really detoxifies your blood,” said Moore. “I’m feeling very detoxified right now.”
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