Vow of Silence by Roxy Harte Read Free Book Online

in
as I find her depth shallow.
    I push deeper and she cries out.
    “My God, Lin, you’re so small. So tight.”
    “You are just big, George. Too big.” She grunts and I
realize I may be hurting her.
    Withdrawing completely, I reach into the bedside drawer for
lube and apply a liberal amount with my fingers. I finger-fuck her. Watching
her face, I pull out, but not completely, and thrust back in, going a little
deeper. “You’ll stretch for me.”
    Her eyes roll back and her eyelids flutter closed.
    I push deeper, two fingers and then three. She moans and it
is no longer pain-filled. I press the tip of my erection into her, still
massaging her with my fingers. When I am sure she can take my girth, I push
into her tightness. “Take it, Lin. Open for me.”
    “Ahhh! Ah! Ah!”
    I back off but immediately thrust again, harder, deeper,
burying myself to the hilt.
    I hear her breath suck in, but she doesn’t exhale.
    “Breathe, Lin, in and out.”
    She finally exhales and her eyes open to meet my gaze.
    “Are you okay?”
    “Yes.”
    I start pushing in and pulling out, setting a rhythm. My
need is almost boiling over when I see her expression change, her breath
quicken. I hold back until I see pleasure building in the depths of her eyes
and then I ride her hard, feeling her responding beneath me. Her hips rise
again and again to meet mine.
    “Come for me, Lin.”
    She cries out, and I know she is riding a wave of bliss.
Only then do I let my own pleasure peak. The sounds we make together are a
primal song, her shrill yips perfectly harmonized with my deeper low growls.
    And in the midst of it all, I get carried away and bury my
face in her hair, whispering words that I regret as soon as they are said. “I
love you.”
    She falls asleep in the curve of my arm, but not before she
whispers, “It’s never been like that for me before, George. Your patience and
kindness lifted me to bliss. I knew you were the right man.”
    * * * * *
    Well, I’ve done it now, haven’t I? I’m in trouble. I can
feel it deep within my being. I awake with Mitzi Gaynor’s voice in my head, and
I lay grinning like a fool as my mind silently belts the lyrics from a South
Pacific tune— I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love…
    Of course with a wonderful guy didn’t work so I
substitute with a beautiful girl .
    And the song keeps going and going…my smile gets wider and
wider.
    Love is a grand and beautiful thing, I’m not ashamed to
reveal, the world-famous feeling I feel. I’m as corny as Kansas in August…I’m
in love, I’m in love…
    No! Stop this now!
    But I can’t stop. And the song keeps repeating in my head.
    As I lie beside her my conscience screams at me for professing
my love to her.
    This is horrible. This is insane. I’ve completely lost my
mind. Proven as I lay for hours watching Lin sleep, trying to find the
imperfection.
    Disgusted with myself, I leave the bed and trod naked to the
kitchen to start a pot of coffee. I think we will both need it in light of the
sobering morning we face. I don’t want to spoil our friendship. But it’s
already too late to worry about such things, isn’t it? Really, isn’t it pretty
clear? She’s vanilla! I’m a sadist.
    If anyone in my position came to me for advice, I would
advise them to get out before anyone gets hurt. I don’t want to break Lin’s
heart.
    But the truth is I want her. Some part of me needs what a
relationship with her gives me.
    Is it just normalcy?
    I do lots of normal things. I golf. I lunch on occasion with
past colleagues. Rarely, to be certain, but I do.
    My heart aches, threatening to explode in my chest.
    I wish to God I was having a heart attack—an
honest-to-goodness life-threatening moment—anything but the truth.
    I’m in love with her. There’s no rhyme or reason to it.
    Suddenly she appears in the doorway. She looks fragile. She
looks like a woman in love. Well, haven’t I just fucked us both royally?
    “Why are you