What Goes Around... by Carol Marinelli Read Free Book Online

just how wrong I’ve gotten things. Yes, Eleanor is at the hospital but she isn't ringing about herself or the baby, this call really is for me. It’s Eleanor’s father who’s sick - my ex-husband.
    ‘He collapsed at home…’ Rose continues on. ‘Things don't look good.’
    I want the truth. I don't want the safe hospital version, so that I don’t have a heart attack and drop dead, or kill myself driving in. ‘Just tell me Rose,’ I say. ‘I need to know what to tell Bonny and Alice. Just tell me now.’
    There’s another pause. I can hear Eleanor sobbing even louder in the background; I can close my eyes now and picture the scene. I know it from Rose’s voice, I know it already, and I just need to be told.
    ‘There was nothing we could do for him.’ Rose gives me the truth that I asked for and I can't remember if I said thank you, I can't even remember hanging up the phone. I do remember a surge of annoyance, that all this time on , he can still mess up my plans at a moment’s notice – because instead of standing in my bedroom and trying to sort out an outfit for tonight, instead of trying on different styles of make up, I’m dashing to the hospital.
    I’m dropping everything for him again.
    That’s what he does you see.
    That’s what he’s always done.
    Somehow, even in death – he stops me from finding me.
     

CHAPTER SIX
     
    Lucy
     
    It’s all about them.
    Always.
    I promise you.
    You’ll see.
    ‘Would you like to see him?’ Rose asks.
    Eleanor starts to cry and moan and says no, she can’t face it, but I actually think the nurse was speaking directly to me.
    I shake my head.
    I’ve never seen a dead body.
    Well, I thought mum was dead plenty of times when I found her passed out, but I’ve never seen a real live dead one – excuse the pun.
    A real live dead one. I go over that in my head a few times and then Luke speaks. ‘It might be better to, Lucy. Charlotte might want to see him.’
    ‘She’s not seeing him.’ I’m adamant.
    ‘She might want to,’ Rose says. She’s actually nice, a big woman and she’s sort of comforting. She puts her arm around me and talks for a while, tells me that it might help Charlotte accept things, that maybe if I see him on my own first…
    ‘I can’t.’
    I’m scared to go in there.
    ‘I can come in with you.’ Luke offers.
    I shake my head but then I change my mind. I have to make things easier for Charlotte.
    It’s funny that a curtain can block out so much noise, or maybe I just can’t hear the world outside when I step in there.
    They’ve got a sheet over him and it’s up to his chest and there are all these tubes sticking out of him. To be honest, the first thing that I notice is that his hair’s a mess and that annoys me, he always looks after his appearance, he’s always smart. I mean, couldn’t they find a comb?
    ‘Can you take the tubes out?’
    ‘We can’t, ’ Rose tells me, because it’s a coroner’s case.
    ‘He had a heart attack, ’ I frown.
    But they can’t say that for sure apparently and there’s this sweat beading on my forehead as I’m told that it’s for the corone r to determine. I insist that no, we don’t need a coroner. I tell her again that we don’t and somewhere in this conversation I hear the word inquest – she doesn’t say that there’s going to be one, that’s for the coroner to decide apparently. Just hearing the word, inquest, my insides are screaming, my skin is crawling and I realise what the policeman wanted to speak with her for – for details. I can see me standing there, or sitting on some court bench with his family beside me, with journalists there, and Gloria, and neighbours, and a piece written up in the local paper and everyone finding out…
    ‘Why don’t you talk to him, Lucy?’ Rose says.
    Because, I have absolutely nothing to say.
    I look down and I can see the teeth marks around a bruise high on his chest and I rearrange the sheet. His eyes are closed and I want to