believe .
“Right now you’re probably thinking this looks too magical to be real,” he said with a twinkle in his eye, “but this isn’t even the river’s best day. I’ve seen the water change from emerald green to turquoise on a sunny day and go black as night in a thunder storm. It’s not magic though. It’s Wimberley.”
He began walking slowly along the grassy bank of the river as he talked. “The first Wimberley came here before Texas was even a republic and the family’s been here ever since. Some of us are married to the descendants. Some of us are married to newcomers.” He laughed. “Of course, newcomer might refer to somebody who’s been here for a hundred years.
“So you’re thinking about whether or not you want to enter the competition,” he said, looking directly into the camera. “You’ve probably guessed by now that I’m a past winner. Correction. That was a silly thing to say. Because if you win this competition, you’ve won for life.
“I’ve been where you are.” He grinned. “I got buffalo wildwings with six dipping sauces and two racks of ribs for supper. No matter what you’re feelin’ right now, you couldn’t possibly be feelin’ more out of place than I did.
“So you get the idea. We’re not all the same. Far from it. I’m guessing some of you are having dishes I couldn’t spell or even pronounce. In the end, it’s not so much about who you are as whether or not you’re right for the debutantes. There are two this year.”
As he continued to walk slowly the background scenery changed slightly and every new view seemed to be more enchanting than the last.
“You probably wouldn’t think I’d be a candidate for something like this. I was an outlaw biker who got sucked into that life on a promise of fun, anarchy, and pussy.
“After eight years what I had to show for it was this.” He grabbed the neckline of the knit shirt and tugged it down to reveal an angry-looking red slash across his chest. “Let me tell you, it’s not fun to get shot at or knifed. It’s not anarchy when you have to follow somebody else’s orders twenty-four-seven, right or not, like it or not. And the pussy? Christ. Looking back I can’t believe the nasty cunts I stuck my dick into.
“I wanted out, but there was no walking away. Except for this. Thank the gods for this. It saved my life.
“Now I fish for catfish.” He looked over his shoulder at the river behind him. “They’re some monsters in there. I take ‘em home, somebody else cleans ‘em up, covers ‘em in corn meal like they ought to be, and fries ‘em up.
“I ride my Harley through the hills when I get restless. The Hill Country is the best ride anywhere. Guaranteed to clear your head and make you glad you’re alive. Sometimes I go climbing over at Canyon Lake Gorge. I kayak on the Comal River when we get a flood. If the rapids don’t get your heart goin’ then you’re not alive. My wife doesn’t like it when I do that stuff, but…” he shrugged and grinned, “you know.
“The last part is the best. My wife. I’m not going into that. All I’ll say about it is this. Get your own.
“That’s what you have a chance to do.”
Wait. What?!?
There’re no guarantees. Two weeks from now about fifty guys will show up here in Wimberley with big dreams, but only two will ring the bell and snuff out the candle.”
Ring the bell and snuff out the candle?
“The other forty-eight will go home not remembering what they saw and heard, wondering why the fuck they went to Wimberley of all places.” He chuckled. “It’s better for everybody that way.
“So enjoy your dinner. If you decide to go on to the next step and you pass the test, I’ll see you here. Otherwise, hasta la vista, baby.”
As the image faded, the lights came up slightly and the acoustic guitar music resumed. The wait staff hurried to remove the remains of our first course, replace it with the entrée we all wanted, but didn’t choose,