Willie's Redneck Time Machine by John Luke Robertson Read Free Book Online Page A

home from the Civil War, but now it’s gone. You have no idea where to find it.
    John Luke is missing and Korie is worried and you have no idea how in the world you’re going to let her know her eldest son is now trapped somewhere in another time and another place.
    But you’re definitely going to blame Jase.
    That’s the last time he’s ever going to do something you tell him to do!
    THE END
    Start over.
    Read “The Morning Fog: A Note from John Luke Robertson.”

1990

    YOU TRY TO TALK TO KORIE, but she runs down the hallway. Literally runs .
    You try again and she steps behind a group of girlfriends.
    You try for a third time and she goes over to Mr. Harris, one of the teachers standing nearby. He walks over to you.
    “May I help you, sir?”
    Then something dawns on you.
    You’re a forty-two-year-old trying to talk to an eighteen-year-old. That’s creepy enough.
    Then there’s the beard and the bandanna that nobody’s ever seen. You surely look a little bit . . . scary.
    “Oh yeah, sorry. I was just trying to find my son.”
    “Somehow I don’t think Korie Howard is your son.”
    You realize Mr. Harris is around the same age as you. This is the same Mr. Harris who kicked you out of classfor putting chalk in his soup one day during home ec. The same teacher who loves to belittle you in front of the entire class. Sure, you maybe deserved to be punished for the chalk incident, but Mr. Harris always seemed to take things too far.
    Hmm.
    You’ve often imagined meeting up with Mr. Harris again. Just to have a nice conversation. Not to hurt him. You’d never do that. But you wouldn’t mind messing with his head.
    Just a little.
    Of course, you really should find John Luke. You’re not sure if the time machine is still here, or how in the world you guys will be able to get back.

    Do you stay and mess with Mr. Harris’s mind? Go here .
    Do you go into the gym, hoping John Luke will be there? Go here .

NOVEMBER 22, 1963

    WAIT A MINUTE . . .
    How’d you get here ?
    Did you cheat?
    You wouldn’t do something like that, would you?
    And if you would, you wouldn’t pick such a predictable date, right?
    You do know there were multiple gunmen, don’t you?
    Are you really going to save the president? What’s your plan?
    Oh, wait; you didn’t know you’d end up here?
    Are you saying you don’t even know what happened on this date?
    Okay, that’s fine. Just go back to the beginning and start over. (And look up this historical date when you get a moment!)

    Start over here .

TODAY

    YOU DECIDE TO GO ON and eat because you do your best thinking while eating. After polishing off a fried shrimp po’boy sandwich, you go to use the men’s room before leaving Duck Diner. When you walk inside, you see the strangest thing.
    The outhouse is in the men’s restroom. It barely fits too.
    You have no idea how someone fit a giant wooden outhouse in your restaurant’s bathroom.
    You think about turning around and talking to the manager. But enough’s enough. You get it. They want you to hop in. They really want to get you inside. So okay.
    “All righty, boys,” you say out loud.
    You’re sure that someone’s got a camera on you, watching.
    This will make the Jimmy Kimmel show or America’sFunniest Home Videos or maybe a country music award show. Who knows.
    You step inside, close the door, and wait.
    Will the floor open up to something?
    Will they fill the outhouse with something gross or funny?
    Will the . . . ?
    You blink. Something’s strange about your surroundings. You blink again and realize you’re not making this up.
    The outhouse has changed into some kind of spaceship. And just as you’re about to walk across the floor to figure out how this happened, the room starts spinning.
    Violently.
    You try to hang on to something but can’t. You’re launched across the room into the wall, then to the floor.
    As you slide, you grab the base of a chair, managing to grip it until the shaking and spinning