Willie's Redneck Time Machine by John Luke Robertson Read Free Book Online

possibly do for Samantha?

    Do you decide not to get distracted and keep trying to find John Luke? Go here .
    Do you come up with an idea to make Samantha’s night? Go here .

1990

    YOU WALK OVER TO THE DJ.
    “Do you have ‘Love Shack’ by the B-52s?”
    He gives you a real cool-guy nod.
    “Can you play it next?”
    He just gives you another nod, his mushroom-shaped hair bouncing.
    “That’s, like, the go-to karaoke song for me and my wife.”
    “Your go-to what?” he asks.
    “You know   —the song we always pick when we kar-a-o-ke.”
    Then it dawns on you that this guy hasn’t heard of karaoke. It hasn’t become a thing yet. “Never mind,” you mutter and step away.
    Man, I’m old.
    You stand on the side of the gym, watching the dancers,and that’s when you see her. The smiling girl in the black dress. You notice that the dress is really puffy, just like her hair, but other than that your future wife looks so cute.
    Is it weird to be thinking this?
    You decide to surprise her on the dance floor. It’s gonna be awesome.
    Soon the music begins to play.
    Those drums start, and then you hear the wail of “Love shack!”
    Everybody is out on the floor dancing, including Korie and her friends. So you join them. Who cares if you’re from the future and a little older than everybody else. You’re only as old as you feel. Right?
    You close your eyes and start dancing. You know all the lyrics, and you’re soon mouthing the words.
    You do motions with your hands and twist your hips. You’re wearing boots, but that’s okay   —you can do your best moves in them.
    That’s right. You’ve still got it.
    “Love shack, bay-bee.”
    You finally open your eyes and look around.
    The entire room is staring at you.
    Everybody’s glaring, and nobody’s dancing.
    You slowly stop dancing as you realize the students might be a little confused. Or maybe sorta scared.
    So they’ve never seen a bearded man with a bandanna who can move and groove so well.
    You try to sneak off the basketball court and out of the gym. The dancing resumes.
    Before leaving, you feel something hit your head. It’s a dress shoe. You don’t even bother to check who threw it.
    “Love Shack” was a total disaster.
    You decide to wait for John Luke by the time machine, which is fortunately still here. Then you two can go back to 2014 and break out the karaoke machine, and you and Korie can bust out “Love Shack” tonight.
    Right now you feel a bit like a fool.
    You’re forty-two years old and a 1990s prom has defeated you.
    “Bang, bang on the door, baby.”
    THE END
    Start over.
    Read “The Morning Fog: A Note from John Luke Robertson.”

A LONG, LONG TIME AGO

    WHEN THE FIRST OF THE RAINS COME, you feel good. It’s cool and refreshing outside. But that’s until it rains all day and all night. Then it keeps raining. And raining.
    It rains more.
    And more.
    The rains keep coming.
    The storms get heavier.
    When you talk to a guy from a nearby town, you realize the man in the cloak must have been right about something bad happening out here. The local guy mentions a man named Noah who predicted this very thing.
    But by the time you hear about this, it’s too late. The waters rise, and even though you’re a good swimmer, you can’t swim forever.
    And the rains seem to go on forever.
    You should have followed the cloaked man’s advice.
    But then you remember what he said about not dying, and your predicament doesn’t seem so bad after all.
    Sure enough, soon you’re standing in the middle of the familiar warehouse, confused, dripping wet, and listening to Britney Spears singing “Oops!” at full volume on your phone.
    THE END
    Start over.
    Read “The Morning Fog: A Note from John Luke Robertson.”

TODAY

    SO HERE’S THE GOOD NEWS: you and Jase make it back home to West Monroe in time for Korie’s birthday.
    The bad news: John Luke never shows up.
    The really bad news: you left the time machine in the warehouse when you got