Xtreme Manly Man Force of Intense Badassery: Book One: The Fountain of Testoserone by Kell Inkston Read Free Book Online

were discovered and
registered by the Omniverse Expeditionary Librarium, or O.E.L. --
It only makes sense that the people registering dimensions would
want theirs to be the first.
    As the Reader is obviously dying for a
history lesson, the narrator will gladly oblige them.

CHAPTER SIX: BORING STUFF THAT SHOULD
ONLY BE READ IF THE READER CARES AT ALL ABOUT THE OMNIVERSE AND ITS
CURRENT STATUS
    Inter-dimensional travel has existed
for as long as there has been magic to do so, but not until the
advent of magic-technology (that is, mass-produced
magically-charged items), had anyone ever set out to catalog
dimensions on a broad scale. The O.E.L. was founded in what is now
called Dimension #1, and has since gained a reputation as the
military, scientific, and cultural center of the Omniverse. It is a
highly ambitious association of people, and these people took the
task upon themselves to not only discover all that exists in the
Omniverse, but to conquer it all as well. Of course, not all places
are as weak militarily as subspace realms and lesser
dimensions.
    Take dimension #13 for example. While
the O.E.L. would love to own it and use its resources to aid the
efforts of its conquests, there is, as sources say, an
impossibly-nasty Overlord that lives there and rampages through
cities filled with knights trained in high-level magics. While the
O.E.L. has reached a point of scientific sophistication to
manufacture its own automatic firearms, this Overlord creature
seems quite impervious to such technology, and as such, the
association has decided to put off the dimension's conquest until a
later time. After all, there are so many dimensions to explore, so
spending that much effort just to get into one seems awfully
counter-productive to the O.E.L.. That aside, very few dimensions
actually care much about being “conquered” by the O.E.L., and it is
often considered more of a business partnership than anything. In
the usual case, the O.E.L. simply walks in, points guns at people,
and gets the leaders to sign several contracts, allowing the O.E.L.
to control all space-gate-related or otherwise significant
technology in the country's possession. The country keeps its
culture, its people, and its motives, with only one rule: Don't
screw with your elusive rulers, the O.E.L..
    As it currently stands, there has not
been a single dimension, or country within a dimension, that has
given the O.E.L. as hard a time as Dimension #13, the said
dimension that contains the “High Overlord,” Chaos, an incredibly
powerful bastard by any standards. He is the primary reason as to
why the O.E.L. have not stepped foot (officially) into the
dimension, but there is talk of this changing soon, as there are
rumors that the O.E.L. are now developing dimension-altering
weaponry, technology that not even this Overlord could stand
against.
    I hope the Reader has enjoyed this
short history lesson about the current status of the Omniverse and
its people. Remember that you, the Reader, too can do your part in
aiding the O.E.L. should they come by your dimension in need of
assistance. Compliance is readily rewarded with official positions
if in the case that the O.E.L. imposes a new governmental system
upon your dimension, so it would be wise to be courteous and
helpful to any member of their association. Of course, in the
slight exception that it is Overlord Chaos who is reading this, he
would be suggested to promptly tear off their limbs and throw them
all in hell for the sake of the rest of us. Now then, let’s
continue.

CHAPTER SEVEN: THAT'S HOW IT IS, YOU
NERD!
    SISY nods in approval to Mr. Honker's
answer.
    “That's pretty sweet, never thought I'd
see someone so important,” SISY says in a half-joking tone. Mr.
Honkers takes it as a complete compliment, and sways his afro in
the form of a nod.
    “Glad to see you properly appreciate
the company you're in,” the short, badly-dressed man says with a
condescending smile. SISY laughs.
    “Right. So, if