Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney Read Free Book Online
Authors: Jeff Kinney
cartoon showing three trees and Mrs. Norton.] The Caption reads: " Whilst we are rooted to our spots, she doth move on lighter feet..."
112
The song is only about three minutes long, but to me it felt like an hour and a half. I was just praying the curtains would go down so we could hop off the stage.
That's when I noticed Patty Farrell standing in the wings. And if looks could kill, us Trees would be dead. She probably thought we were ruining her chances of making it to Broadway or something.
[Image: A cartoon showing a girl peeping from behind the curtain.]
Seeing Patty standing there reminded me why I singed up to be a Tree in the first place.
[Image: A cartoon showing a girl looking at the trees.] The Caption reads: " Clonk"
113
Pretty soon, the rest of the Trees started throwing apples, too. I think Toto even got in on the act.
Somebody knocked the glasses off of Patty's head, and one of the lenses broke. Mrs. Norton had to shut down the play after that, because Patty can't see two feet in front of her without her glasses.
After the play was over, my family went home together. Mom had brought a bouquet of flowers, and I guess they were supposed to be for me. But she ended up tossing them in the trash can on the way out the door.
I just hope that everyone who came to see the play was as entertained as I was.
[Image: A cartoon showing four children.]
114
Wednesday
Well, if one good thing came out of the play, it's that I don't have to worry about the "Bubby" nickname anymore.
I saw Archie Kelly getting hassled in the hallway after fifth period today, so it looks like I can finally start to breathe a little easier.
[Image: A cartoon showing a boy being hassled.] The Caption reads: " Hi there "Bubby"!"
Sunday
With all this stuff going on at school, I haven't even had time to think about Christmas. And it's less than ten days away.
115
In fact, the only thing that tipped me off that Christmas was coming was when Rodrick put his wish list up on the refrigerator.
[Image: Rodrick's Wish list] The Caption reads: " Rodrick's Wish list
1. New drums
2. New van
3. Shrunken head"
I usually make a big wish list every year, but this Christmas, all I really want is this video game called Twisted Wizard.
Tonight Manny was going through the Christmas catalog, picking out all the stuff he wants with a big red marker. Manny was circling every single toy in the catalog. He was even circling really expensive things like a giant motorized car and stuff like that.
[Image: A cartoon showing boy going through Christmas catalog.]
116
So I decided to step in and give him some good big-brotherly advice.
I told him that if he circled stuff that was too expensive, he was going to end up with a bunch of clothes for Christmas. I said he should just pick three or four medium-priced gifts so he would end up with a couple of things he actually wanted.
[Image: A cartoon showing a boy holding the Christmas catalog.]
But of course Manny just went back to circling everything again. So I guess he'll just have to learn the hard way.
When I was seven, the only thing I really wanted for Christmas was a Barbie Dream House. And NOT because I like girls' toys, like Rodrick said.
117
I just thought it would be a really awesome fort for my toy soldiers.
When Mom and Dad saw my wish list that year, they got in a big fight over it. Dad said there was no way he was getting me a dollhouse, but Mom said it was healthy for me to "experiment" with whatever kind of toys I wanted to play with.
[Image: A cartoon showing mom and dad looking at the wish list.]
Believe it or not, Dad actually won that argument. Dad told me to start my wish list over and pick some toys that were more "appropriate" for boys.
But I have a secret weapon when it comes to Christmas. My Uncle Charlie always gets me whatever I want. I told him I wanted the Barbie Dream House, and he said he'd hook me up.
118
On Christmas, when Uncle Charlie gave me my gift, it
112
The song is only about three minutes long, but to me it felt like an hour and a half. I was just praying the curtains would go down so we could hop off the stage.
That's when I noticed Patty Farrell standing in the wings. And if looks could kill, us Trees would be dead. She probably thought we were ruining her chances of making it to Broadway or something.
[Image: A cartoon showing a girl peeping from behind the curtain.]
Seeing Patty standing there reminded me why I singed up to be a Tree in the first place.
[Image: A cartoon showing a girl looking at the trees.] The Caption reads: " Clonk"
113
Pretty soon, the rest of the Trees started throwing apples, too. I think Toto even got in on the act.
Somebody knocked the glasses off of Patty's head, and one of the lenses broke. Mrs. Norton had to shut down the play after that, because Patty can't see two feet in front of her without her glasses.
After the play was over, my family went home together. Mom had brought a bouquet of flowers, and I guess they were supposed to be for me. But she ended up tossing them in the trash can on the way out the door.
I just hope that everyone who came to see the play was as entertained as I was.
[Image: A cartoon showing four children.]
114
Wednesday
Well, if one good thing came out of the play, it's that I don't have to worry about the "Bubby" nickname anymore.
I saw Archie Kelly getting hassled in the hallway after fifth period today, so it looks like I can finally start to breathe a little easier.
[Image: A cartoon showing a boy being hassled.] The Caption reads: " Hi there "Bubby"!"
Sunday
With all this stuff going on at school, I haven't even had time to think about Christmas. And it's less than ten days away.
115
In fact, the only thing that tipped me off that Christmas was coming was when Rodrick put his wish list up on the refrigerator.
[Image: Rodrick's Wish list] The Caption reads: " Rodrick's Wish list
1. New drums
2. New van
3. Shrunken head"
I usually make a big wish list every year, but this Christmas, all I really want is this video game called Twisted Wizard.
Tonight Manny was going through the Christmas catalog, picking out all the stuff he wants with a big red marker. Manny was circling every single toy in the catalog. He was even circling really expensive things like a giant motorized car and stuff like that.
[Image: A cartoon showing boy going through Christmas catalog.]
116
So I decided to step in and give him some good big-brotherly advice.
I told him that if he circled stuff that was too expensive, he was going to end up with a bunch of clothes for Christmas. I said he should just pick three or four medium-priced gifts so he would end up with a couple of things he actually wanted.
[Image: A cartoon showing a boy holding the Christmas catalog.]
But of course Manny just went back to circling everything again. So I guess he'll just have to learn the hard way.
When I was seven, the only thing I really wanted for Christmas was a Barbie Dream House. And NOT because I like girls' toys, like Rodrick said.
117
I just thought it would be a really awesome fort for my toy soldiers.
When Mom and Dad saw my wish list that year, they got in a big fight over it. Dad said there was no way he was getting me a dollhouse, but Mom said it was healthy for me to "experiment" with whatever kind of toys I wanted to play with.
[Image: A cartoon showing mom and dad looking at the wish list.]
Believe it or not, Dad actually won that argument. Dad told me to start my wish list over and pick some toys that were more "appropriate" for boys.
But I have a secret weapon when it comes to Christmas. My Uncle Charlie always gets me whatever I want. I told him I wanted the Barbie Dream House, and he said he'd hook me up.
118
On Christmas, when Uncle Charlie gave me my gift, it
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