Putting the Madge in Danna by Mia Natasha Read Free Book Online Page B

It’s the journey that supplies the moral, whether or
not you have it to begin with, if that makes any sense.
    I’ve known Zeus since forever and, you know,
our families have been close for generations. We must be soul mates
if such a thingy exists. We look a lot alike - same big brown eyes,
brown hair (his has actual sun highlights from when he was in
California for a week last month), same exotic Mediterranean
flavor, I guess. I wouldn’t be surprised if we were related
somehow. The Greek Isles are relatively small, right? Most of our
families hail from Crete – okay, so it’s the largest one of the
islands, but still. I’ll probably end up with one of those deformed
incestuous style babies, missing forearms and such. Do you think?
My in-laws probably wouldn’t care, as long as it’s a boy. They can
be very demanding in their own nice way.
    Oh, you guessed right. I’m not using birth
control. I stopped taking the pill last month in preparation for my
honeymoon. No biggie. Madonna wanted a United Colors of Benetton
family way back when she fucky-wucked Dennis Rodman without birth
control. And wasn’t Carlos Leon a Latino? I wouldn’t mind creating
a mutt baby, aren’t mutts healthier than purebreds anyhow? It’s
like that with cats and dogs. But I won’t get pregnant, right? Gina
can’t seem to get pregnant and is going in for fertility treatments
next week. It’s not that easy to put a bun in the oven these days –
Demetrios took two years to knock-up his wife. And I seriously
doubt that Mr. Softee was a threat, don’t you?
    I had to cancel on Mrs. Zepkos’ offer to
take me shopping because I’d forgotten it was my Sunday to work.
I’m only here for another hour though. After work, I’m driving up
to this new health club that just opened in Rome, NY. It’s a bit
far, but they’re offering free training sessions plus I thought it
would be best not to venture into local territory for this next
escapade. Zeus has a lot of soccer buddies who frequent the gyms
around here. Wouldn’t want them looking over my shoulder. I’m sure
I can find myself a suitable personal trainer at this new place,
one who can get the task done, because when in Rome, right (wink,
wink)?
    It’s an omen.
    Whoops! Somehow my left
hand found its way under my dress. What the hell am I doing? I’m
masturbating at Eiffel Travel! God, my hooey is drippy. I told you
I love tweaking! I’m out of control. Damn you, Madonna, and your
sexy Sanctuary song! Oh, I didn’t mean that. I just crossed myself three
times, praying to any Madonna who will listen, Mother Mary or
sister singer. I am a good girl, you know. I hope you
know.
    I think I see my client pulling into the
parking lot. Got to get back to work.
    Oh, yeah – one more thing.
The linen department sales girl at Macy’s triggered my gaydar. She
was one of those college bi-curious types that looked like a
smiling Malibu Barbie. I stopped in for a second before work just
in case Connie had decided to spring for the sheets without me. I
wanted to see what was available. I have to call her, by the way,
and tell her what I did. I bought the stupid white Martha Stewart
sheets with the hand-crochet trim. They didn’t scream sexy
newlyweds, what was I thinking? And it’s hard to wash cum off white
sheets (these sheets had a do not use
bleach label). Maybe I’ll return them, and
grab another notch of gusto, girl style.
    Yes? No? Maybe? Anyone?
    Comments:3 Only an idiot wouldn’t use birth control. Dr. Nancy Godwin, M.D., Pittsburgh, PA
    Don’t be a fool, Pinkie.
Use a condom.Dr. Martha Quirkenbush, Schenectady,
NY Room 1022
has been booked for August 29 th . I will act as your lover,
Dani. Rob,
NY, NY
    ****
    A Camel-toe’s Feathertoe
    Friday, JULY 31, 2009 - 11:30pm
    I’m sorry I haven’t blogged. I didn’t think
I would be, because I hate when people make excuses for their work
ethic, but I really have been very busy with wedding plans. I had a
bunch of thank you notes to write