The Brotherhood of Rotten Babysitters by Dan Danko, Tom Mason Read Free Book Online

Babysitters!”
    “But you’re girls,” Boom Boy commented. “And...?”
    “Shouldn’t you be a
sisterhood
?”
    “I told you!” the thin girl snarled.
    “Don’t blame me!” the girl with glasses defended. “I voted for ‘the Sisterhood of Rotten Babysitters.’ ”
    “The
Sisterhood
of Rotten Babysitters?!” the tall one spat back. “We’d sound like a feel-good movie released in late summer! No one’s afraid of feel-good movies!”
    “I am,” Exact Change Kid confessed. “They always have kissing.”
    “Trust me,
The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
ruined it for all us evil females,” the tall one said.
    “I don’t care if you’re a brotherhood of girls or a sisterhood of guys, I just want to know why you ruined my house and brought us here!” I said.
    “I’ll bet you’d just love to know the answer to that one.” The tall girl crossed her arms. A small smile cut across her face. She stood, silent, defiant, until the girl with glasses asked, “Well, are you going to tell them or what?”
    “Look, you
really
have to work on your dramatic tension, Bunni!” the tall one scolded. “I thought we agreed: dramatic tension!”
    “
Pfft.
It was more like dramatic boredom,” the girl who wasn’t Bunni commented, and rolled her eyes. “You were totally standing there with this total ‘duh’ expression on your face like you didn’t even know why we brought them here.”
    “I know
why
we brought them here! Destroy the League of Big Justice? Hell-loo?! It was, like,
my
idea, Candi,” the tall one sneered.
    “It was
so
not your idea!” Candi snorted. “You are totally trippin’ right now, Kiki.”
    “Me? Trippin’?! Look in a mirror and check out the poster child for trippin’.”
    “You’re just mad because Brad Jones totally asked
me
to Homecoming instead of you,” Candi mocked.
    “Brad Jones!? He is
so
last semester!” Kiki snorted. “Hel-lo? I’m a junior now!”
    “Uh... girls?” I interrupted. “Maybe we could get back to your evil plot and all?”
    “STAY OUT OF THIS!” Kiki and Candi shouted at me.
    So Kiki was the tallest one. She had black hair and always seemed to be scowling. Candi had blond hair, was thin, and rolled her eyes at a lot. Bunni had red hair, glasses, and liked to smile.
    As Kiki and Candi bickered, Boom Boy whispered, “I call dibs on the blond one.”
    “
I
like the blond one!” Exact Change Kid whispered back.
    “I thought you liked brunettes,” Boom Boy replied.
    “Usually I do. But I figure the blond one looks the nicest and maybe she won’t kill me,” Exact Change Kid confessed.
    “Guys, I really think they’re here looking for a fight,” I informed them.
    “Good! I like feisty girls!” Boom Boy clapped his hands together.
    “No. I mean we have to fight them and stop them from destroying the League of Big Justice ... and us!”
    “You’re just saying that because you’re stuck with the redhead!” Boom Boy sneered.
    “Mam pam? Phaam ma ma paa?” Boy-in-the-Plastic-Bubble Boy joined in.
    “Okay. You get the redhead. Just stay away from my girl!” Boom Boy warned him. “I really think she might be the one.”
    “The
one
? The one to crush you under her evil boot heel, you mean!” I answered.
    “I don’t know, but I’ve got a fistful of pennies ready just in case,” Exact Change Kid said. “I hate rejection.”
    And, in fact, Exact Change Kid hated rejection so much, the moment that Kiki and Candi finished their argument, Exact Change Kid pelted them with a handful of change.
    “Eat copper!” he shouted.
    The coins hit the two girls and fell to the ground.
    “So...if you’re free for lunch later, maybe we could ...I mean ... unless you’re busy or . . . I ...uh...” Exact Change Kid fumbled for words.
    Boom Boy dropped his head into his hands. “He is
so
killing our chances.”
    “Maaa pa!” Boy-in-the-Plastic-Bubble Boy agreed. I think.
    Kiki grabbed Exact Change Kid by the collar. “I have dealt with